1:48 AM - Friday, September 30, 2011
I'm so sad. So sad. Oh so sad. I'm dead serious. I'm really sad.
Its unfair for you, I know. I'm just sorry babeh. ):
You did nothing wrong, and you never once hurt me.
I'm just selfish, it's all about ME.
I wanted to have a 1 month break, or so, to put my fullest on my studies.
But also, it's to cool the both of us down.
We've been quarrelling ever since I started thinking.
Why her? How great is she? You loved her for like a year?!
I'm being selfish, but I just want you all for myself.
I gave you everything, even the my most precious thing on Earth!
But you gave it to someone else. Like oh man. Thats sad luh. But I've got to accept it right?
I love you the most most most! But you loved her more that time.
You don't even know if you did loved her or whatever shitzxzx.
How sure are you that you love me? Tell me how sure?
You said the most, but, oh really?
You still think of her at the 4th year! Oh bloody hell.
I wanna be special, the one you love most.
The one who can make you feel as if you had never loved anyone in your entire life.
I wanna be your best one.
But you loved her. I know, its the past. But hey! She once had you right?
She once kissed you, hugged you, touched you, held onto your hands and once had your heart all for herself for a DAMN BLOODY WHOLE LONG YEAR.
And oh such a pity, I doing the same thing.
How can I not be sad?
Im not the only one.
I never once loved someone so much, sacrificing my time, my study time even when the major papers are on their way, sacrificing ALL of my friends and the most precious thing. I gave it all.
I tried. I loved. I trust that you wont and NEVER hurt me.
Trust that you were different from all those men.
Cant I have more? To be the special one?
You are the special one for me, with you, YOU made me feel that I had never once loved anyone before. No densil, no eugene, no jordan, no xavier.
But you finally told me that you loved her.
So what if she only sit at your sofa in the living room? You brought her home too. But its okay.
So what if you never did so much for her? You were young! And you dont know what to do and you still loved her!
Cried for her, worry for her, care for her, slept at your cousin's place to meet her early the next morning.
Those are what you did for me as well, except, you begged me with your knees on the ground, you planned to marry me, you made stuffs for me. Well, because you're 18 now. You're matured, You've learned to treasure. And hey, you're going on 20 soon. You got to settle down soon.
But that doesnt mean you love me more. Get it?
When I board the bus back home. I wanted to cry, like so bad.
Its our last night. And we're off for our cooling period.
How much I wanted to turn back and give you a hug.
How much I wanted to let you know I love you.
How much I wanted to let you know, 1 month is gonna be long for me.
I'm not used to not seeing you everyday.
I'm missing you now. And its just 2 hours since I last saw you.
I really love you. Can't you see?
I want the R/S to be a fair one.
You love me most and I love you most.
You're my special one, and Im yours.
But you probably loved her the same way as you love me.
Just that you were younger that time and now you're matured.
I know I've made you cry over and over again. Hurt you over and over again.
I'm sorry, I was selfish.
But I'm sorry, I just wanna have you all by myself and no her.
I threw away everything my ex-s gaved me. To prove to you, you were worth much more than them.
But I cant see how much am i worth to you.
It took you so long to delete her picture after much hints.
You even told me that you wanna keep it for memory sake.
But hey! I let you keep whatever he gave me right? I let you burn them. I let you delete his pictures from my phone. YOU!
But what about me? You took so damn bloody long to delete just 1 picture. And you only delete it after so much quarrels we had gone through because of 'her'.
Is she worth so much? Is she? Is it so difficult for you to even clear her picture?
I wanna get over you, but i can't because I love you and we're still on our cooling period.
I want you to trust me that my feelings will remain the same after this 1 month.
But I'm taking a risk am I? You might fall for someone else instead.
But I hope you wont, after all we had been thtough.
